Fun from Fritz

CMS alias Clean Money Saga

Once upon a CMS (cloudy mid summer) a group of CMS (clever maniac scientists) invented CMS (Compact Muon Solenoïd).

The group was small, very small, but nevertheless they asked each other:

Do you also CMS (see a mess)?

In general the reply was:

Yes, I CMS (see a mess).

That's how the thing became as big as it is today.

Many times we asked ourselves: CMS ? (Can Michel survive?)

His reply was a very monotonous CMS (C'est mon systeme!!).

All important decisions were done on the corridor followed by CMS (Coffee Machine Service).

When the CMS (catastrophic management structure) became all too apparent we were shocked: CMS ? (Collaboration Michel --> Sam?)

The outcome was not so bad. Some people got together and said: May I also CMS (communicate my sorrows)?

Of course we CMS (changed many systems).

Of course we also CMS (cleaned up many subdetectors).

We thought that CMS (calibration makes sense).

Indeed, the CMS (calorimeter made systematic) errors, the

tracker CMS (consumed much silicon), the HCAL CMS (copper makes secondaries) and the CMS (cute muon system) needed CMS (chambers made sturdier).

Politically CMS made strong impression but the synonymous sentence"CMS" (C'est mon systeme) was heard stronger than ever since.

The project office CMS (caused much struggling) and CMS (computed Microsoftproject senselessly).

Let's see about the CMS, the CERN made structure of the CERN-groups in CMS. They are supposed to CMS (collaborate manage steer), all at the same time of course. The order of priority, however, seems to go the other way round.

Of course the thing CMS (collapsed making steps) ahead.

There was the technical CMS (committee's mighty scope) of dealing with all the CMS-details, there was the CMS (CMS Management Stable) and the CMS (Collaboration? Michel steers!), commonly known as the steering committee.

There is even a CMS (Constitution mimicking severeness). However, when a new spokesperson was to be found only one CMS (Candidate Made Superman) was left for the wondering voters who found the offer a CMS (cleverly mandated selection) or even a CMS (CMS-made scam).

After the vote, again CMS (CHeeeeese, Michel, smile!!!) because CMS (Camera makes shot) for the books of history.

When political parties started to split CMS we found clear road signs:

Attention! CMS! (Colleagues may stumble). And they did.

Get rid of them, provoke big bang, and CMS (consolidate Michel's survival).

Here we are bound to issue the first warning: CMS!!! (carrier may sink)

The second warning is also CMS (collaboration may suffocate), but this one will be issued in due time when appropriate.

We end the saga with the finding we hit first when discussing this Xperiment:

Do you CMS? Yes, I CMS.

PS (In case people feel offended I maintain there is no intention to offend anybody - please laugh.)

PPS (The one who doesn't smile is known all too well). CMS. Cabaret must ...)

A loose collection of other important findings:

CMA crystals may annihilate

ECAL erratic calorimeter

HCAL hilarious calorimeter

CMT Came Months thereafter

CMT Clearly Money trouble

CMC Chief Martti's Club

CMC Collect many Computers

CMC Computing made centennial

CMO CMS Management obsolete

CMO Check me out

CMO Cannot make overtime

CMO Club Michel, olala

CMD Cittolin moves data

CMD Collaboration marks D-day

TRIDAS The really interesting data are scrapped

TTB Tricky tricky board

FC Funding collapses

FC Fake credits

FC Fierce Combat

How do you spell CMS-week? C-M-S-W-E-A-K

Suggestions welcome: E-mail to FfF


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